Although customs vary depending on the family’s religion or ethnicity, funeral arrangements of flowers or basket gardens often are sent to the church, the funeral home, or the family’s home. (Notable exceptions are Jewish families, although in recent years it has become somewhat more acceptable.)

If the obituary specifically asks for donations to a charity in lieu of flowers, it is good etiquette to follow the family’s wishes.

When sending flowers, be sure both your first and last names are on the card accompanying the flowers, since the family may know several “Dawns” or “Jasons.”
Sympathy Flowers — Selecting Appropriate Flowers

Traditionally, flowers are a way to represent growth, new life and movement forward. The natural beauty of flowers at a funeral and at the home of mourners brings a sense of warmth and comfort to the environment.

Today, flowers are not mandatory, but they are one way people express their love for the deceased and concern for members of the family. Flowers can be ordered from a florist and delivered to the funeral home or residence.

Flowers for a funeral should arrive at the funeral home before the first visiting hours … to be there when the family arrives. If time does not permit delivery before visiting hours, flowers or a plant can be sent to the home of the bereaved. A potted plant has obvious symbolic meaning because it will continue to live and grow.
Traditional Funeral Flower Arrangements

Funeral flowers are generally categorized by their function; here are a few of the more commonly used arrangements to avoid any confusion when ordering:

Wreaths – These are circular floral arrangements, which represent eternal life.
Floral arrangements – Any type of floral arrangement, from cut flowers to basket and container arrangements.
Sprays – These are arrangements that allow viewing from one side only.
Casket sprays – These are usually organized by direct family members and sit on top of the casket.
Inside pieces – These are the items placed inside the casket, such as small floral sprays.

Sometimes Flowers are Not Appropriate

There are instances when flowers are not appropriate. Such as when the family requests that donations be made in lieu of flowers. Although flowers are freely accepted by many religions and cultures at funerals, it is worth remembering that there are some which do not traditionally receive flowers such as the Jewish and Islamic faiths.

Jewish law has always demanded immediate burial – within three days – so flowers were never deemed necessary. To this day it has never been customary to send any flowers, although they are not forbidden and some Jews have begun sending them for Reformed Jewish funerals. Instead it is customary to send fruit and food baskets to the home of the bereaved during the mourning period.

At Islamic funerals some people send flowers and some don’t. It is, however, common to place individual flowers on graves along with palm branches and other greenery. Flowers are not a traditional part of Hindu funerals, but they are not unwelcome.

Even if I just heard the news, is it too late to send flowers?
Sending flowers is always appropriate, no matter when you heard the news. In fact, a late flower arrangement sent to the home of the surviving members is often considered an even more earnest and thoughtful gesture.

What if I don’t know what to send to an out of town funeral?
When a funeral is out of town, it is sometimes difficult to know if it is going to be a memorial service or a more traditional funeral. Flowers are appropriate for all the many types of services. If you are not sure exactly what type of flowers are appropriate, we are here to help you every step of the way.

How should we sign the card if we collected money from a group of people for sympathy flowers?
While some people prefer to sign the card with only the title of the group, most believe that having each individual’s name on the card is a more personal touch and reminds the grieving of a larger community support. Signing everyone’s name on the card that you have collected a donation from simplifies things. Always be sure to double check the spelling of each name that is displayed on the card message for accuracy.

Are any flowers inappropriate for a funeral?
When tastefully arranged, every flower expresses sympathy in an appropriate manner. That said, large flowers used to create dramatic tributes are best for memorial or funeral services. Consider sending lilies, snapdragons, gladioli, chrysanthemums, carnations, or roses. Smaller arrangements are used when sending flowers directly to the home. These arrangements usually include roses, spray roses, alstroemerial, daisies, carnations, delphinium, liatris, and stock. You might also want to browse our flower color meaning and meaning of flowers to communicate a special, personalized symbolism to your gift. For more specific ideas on flowers for the home, service, or casket, browse some of our more popular and tasteful sympathy arrangements.

If the obituary mentions “in lieu of flowers” is it still appropriate to send flowers?
Yes, if you wish to send flowers as a gesture of sympathy and remembrance, you may do so in place of or in addition to a donation to the charity indicated. Smaller arrangements are generally more thoughtful in this case.

Can you help me locate the funeral service?
If you have the name of the funeral home and the name of the deceased, then we can handle your order with no problem. We will locate the service and will certainly deliver the appropriate arrangement to the proper location.

Any ideas on what to write on the card if I am at a loss for words?
Most cards have been created to include a preprinted message such as “With deepest sympathy”, “Our thoughts & prayers are with you”, “In loving memory” or “With love and remembrances”. All you need to do is sign who it is from. In these difficult times, no one expects your card to contain answers. Your support and thoughtfulness is what is most important. When you do sign the card, include your first and last name to make sure there is no confusion. If it is a group card, spell each name so the person taking the order is sure to get them correctly.

 

 

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